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Coping with divorce? Saving your marriage? Wanting to minimize the effects of your divorce on your children? Looking for divorce support? Needing help with your marriage or relationship? Let us show you the secrets to staying in love, even if your relationship is changing . . .
Have you ever been in love? Remember how that feels? What if you could return to that feeling, anytime?
"We have a treat for you . . ."
Imagine if you could discover the secret for staying in love, through disappointment, separation, divorce, devastation? Whether you're in a relationship and needing to move through the rough spots, or separating from a relationship that means a great deal to you, you can come back to that wonderful experience of an open heart and mind.
We tend to think of love only in our personal relationships. Yet what if we could treat our business relationships with love and understanding as well? Maybe fewer lawsuits? Maybe business partnerships grounded in giving as well as receiving?
In our personal relationships, many of us have been fooled into the illusion that our ability to love has to do with "finding the right person." What if every person you meet is the "right person" for that moment? And you can still have an intimate, fulfilling relationship with that special person who becomes your partner? What would it be like to live a loving, compassionate, full life all of the time?
If you've wanted more love in your life, if you have ever felt the pain, the disheartenment, the frustration, the disappointment, the heartache of a love lost, then we invite you to discover how to enter back into love, even when love seems to have abandoned you.
Why Would I Want to Love My Ex?
Sometimes people ask us, "Why would I ever want to stay in love with my ex? I am just happy to have them out of my life."
The answer is, "You would only want that if you want to live in peace." We may think that by not having the object of our distress in our life, then we can go on and live a happy life. It doesn't work that way. If we have not healed the emotional wounds in ourself that our ex triggers, then something or someone will bring those same issues to the forefront again. And it will only be worse.
An ex-husband or ex-wife is someone we thought we loved dearly at one time. Staying in Love is the invitation to return to that place of appreciation and love, even though the outer expression of that love has changed.
When we find that difficult, it is not the other that needs to change. They are simply giving us the gift of seeing that part of ourselves that has not yet healed so we can heal it. The good news is that no one but us is responsible for our happiness.
When we heal, then we have the opportunity to live in peace. The more of us who are living in peace, the more we will find ourselves living in a peaceful world.
Expansion vs. Contraction
Throughout our work we use the concepts of expansion and contraction to describe the internal movement of the emotions we experience in our relationships. What does it mean to expand, or to contract?
Think about how you might describe your feelings when you are expanded. Many people would say expanded means feeling happy, joyful, open, light, excited, turned on, ready for anything, compassionate, loving, caring, generous, thoughtful, considerate, . . .
And how does it feel when you are contracted? How about shut down, closed off, in pain, dark, angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, jealous, overcome with grief, worried, anxious, tense, uptight, shrunken, depressed, . . .
Both expansion and contraction are natural parts of life. We see them even in the cycles of nature. During the day it's light. There is an expansion of activity, increased interaction and things open up (flowers, businesses, people). At night it's dark, things shut down, most people and animals rest, and activity becomes less.
In nature we know that these cycles of rest and activity are part of life. One is not better or worse than the other. Yet in our relationships contraction is generally associated with pain. None of us want to experience pain so we do everything we can to avoid the contraction phase of our relationships.
And yet, for all our attempts to avoid it, here it comes again. Expansion and contraction are natural parts of life. We all expand and contract every day. This book is about learning to embrace both, and discovering a process for moving through contraction easily, gently and with full responsibility so that we can return to the wonderful delights of expansion as quickly and as often as possible.
We Are Not Unique
  Chris Attwood and Janet Attwood were once married. We are no longer. Yet we continue to be best friends and business partners. There's only one thing unique about us. We decided to be more committed to learning, growing and loving than to what our relationship might or might not look like. Are you committed to growing? Then you too can transform the most difficult relationships in your life.
Roughly 60 million people in America have been through a divorce. Yet most of these people do not find themselves in our unique position, deeply loving each other after our divorce, acknowledging that our relationship has changed.
Staying in Love When the Marriage is Over tells our story, along with others like us, and the secrets that have allowed us to take the most stressful circumstances and turn them into the foundation for a deeply fulfilling friendship and business partnership. Staying in Love shows how love can transcend divorce, financial ruin, and disappointment to provide a bridge to a new and fulfilling life.
In our experience, doing that requires a commitment to growth along with support. We've designed this web site to give you that support in a number of different ways.
Tools - Here you will find some of the key tools we've found helpful in dealing with issues that affect relationships, and our experience of life. Resources - Books and links to other web sites that can help you deal with the challenges of divorce, relationships, single parenthood, and personal growth. Workshops - We offer workshops to apply the tools we've found useful and to give you the chance to experience the joy and challenge of staying in love, in a safe environment.
Staying in love is intensely practical. It's the difference between living a happy, fulfilled life full of promise and opportunity, or living a life of perpetual challenge, frustration, separation and misery.
Come on and explore the secrets of staying in love with us. It will light up every aspect of your life! |
